Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
