I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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