You really coming over, don't trick.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
