im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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