You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
