So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
