I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
