Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
