The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
