i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize