Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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