why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I can't put those talents on a resume
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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