I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
