I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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