ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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