my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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