I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
