I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
