do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
