My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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