fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
