this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
