Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
