The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
