Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Two words: blizzard sex
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize