Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I died a long time ago.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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