Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
