i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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