I must be too annoying 4 u.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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