I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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