he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
