is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
