Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
