I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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