NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
