he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
