Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well you can't waste a boner
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
