Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize