matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
