ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
