Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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