i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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