Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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