NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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