how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
two words...techno handjob
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
