Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
