Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Quick, to the slutcave!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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