She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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