okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
