my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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