Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
