dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
