i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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