You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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