he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
