My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
