I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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