yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
