I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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