I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
